So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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