True but thats because hes a fetus.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Can I color on your dick again?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
