hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
