Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire