Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist

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(860): I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist http://tfl.nu/xqx0

Replies (16) Good night (1585) Bad night (4282)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly

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(228): She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly http://tfl.nu/58r9

Replies (24) Good night (934) Bad night (7329)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me

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(973): i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me http://tfl.nu/lmdm

Replies (20) Good night (6674) Bad night (1135)
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(226): View more from Ontario

I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.

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(226): I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop. http://tfl.nu/0sxf

Replies (4) Good night (3584) Bad night (1205)
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(847): View more from Illinois

This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.

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(847): This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword. http://tfl.nu/au8n

Replies (12) Good night (4174) Bad night (1165)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.

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(732): Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know. http://tfl.nu/fesa

Replies (5) Good night (2503) Bad night (895)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester

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(662): Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester http://tfl.nu/mao5

Replies (7) Good night (1843) Bad night (856)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster

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(412): Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster http://tfl.nu/uote

Replies (5) Good night (1915) Bad night (773)
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(509): View more from Washington

Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...

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(509): Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place... http://tfl.nu/dgik

Replies (6) Good night (1402) Bad night (821)
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(770): View more from Georgia

When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.

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(770): When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers. http://tfl.nu/iawl

Replies (7) Good night (1254) Bad night (548)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.

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(630): Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll. http://tfl.nu/j17p

Replies (4) Good night (588) Bad night (1424)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger

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(314): I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger http://tfl.nu/k75x

Replies (1) Good night (665) Bad night (709)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?

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(613): Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates? http://tfl.nu/iv63

Replies (3) Good night (657) Bad night (440)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.

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(402): I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description. http://tfl.nu/86v9

Replies (3) Good night (413) Bad night (326)
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(613): View more from Ontario

He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.

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(613): He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks. http://tfl.nu/jvjf

Replies (3) Good night (302) Bad night (597)

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