i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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