Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(256): View more from Alabama

Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.

(1-256): View more from Alabama

That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.

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(256): Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload. (1-256): That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man. http://tfl.nu/ruio

Replies (41) Good night (2710) Bad night (693)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"

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(484): then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon" http://tfl.nu/oypv

Replies (7) Good night (3971) Bad night (537)
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(562): View more from California

How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?

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(562): How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std? http://tfl.nu/ee21

Replies (26) Good night (631) Bad night (5192)
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(540): View more from Virginia

i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building

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(540): i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building http://tfl.nu/8nc8

Replies (22) Good night (6093) Bad night (1013)
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(513): View more from Ohio

My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.

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(513): My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked. http://tfl.nu/x6u7

Replies (6) Good night (4552) Bad night (841)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.

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(860): I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name. http://tfl.nu/83o9

Replies (22) Good night (5553) Bad night (918)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.

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(910): me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a. http://tfl.nu/1fan

Replies (5) Good night (2326) Bad night (1512)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...

(719): View more from Colorado

LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..

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(815): Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old... (719): LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though.. http://tfl.nu/fsbn

Replies (11) Good night (3883) Bad night (753)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.

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(920): Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets. http://tfl.nu/3ocj

Replies (12) Good night (775) Bad night (1675)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.

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(336): I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years. http://tfl.nu/1nws

Replies (18) Good night (1364) Bad night (865)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.

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(412): I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila. http://tfl.nu/4mhj

Replies (3) Good night (1844) Bad night (1003)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)

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(973): St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition) http://tfl.nu/fbpq

Replies (3) Good night (1592) Bad night (481)
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(208): View more from Idaho

That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.

(208): View more from Idaho

Especially drunk mermaids.

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(208): That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck. (208): Especially drunk mermaids. http://tfl.nu/soai

Replies (8) Good night (1165) Bad night (336)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH

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(262): The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH http://tfl.nu/v3lg

Replies (0) Good night (646) Bad night (210)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy

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(978): I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy http://tfl.nu/46h5

Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (222)

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