if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
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studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
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When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.