O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He kissed a someone with a penis
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
