Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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