Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It all started with a game of naked twister.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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