I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize