Well apparently he's into motor boating.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
