My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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