Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
