my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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