the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Randomize
