Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
