My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
