I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize