dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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