totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
