exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Actions speak louder than pants.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
