half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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