I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
