he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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