You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
