vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
