You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
