What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
