We're like a lot better than the average bears
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
