dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
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You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
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I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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