Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
