What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm like, not good at living.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
