ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
