Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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