I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
