wat bout pragnant strippers??
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
