Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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