After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
