You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Randomize
