you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
