next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
