she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize