Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
