I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
