so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Panties = found
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
