Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
