: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I could fuck to npr.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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