The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
