Pregnant stripper...not hot.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think my vagina is haunted
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
