I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
