i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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