I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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