Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Your cock deserves a montage
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
