Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
