with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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