Are we in a gay sports bar?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
