I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
