If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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