I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
