Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
