piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she peed on how many people?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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