i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Princesses don't give blow jobs
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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