are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
