his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
tell me about the eggs
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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