He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
