You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i believe in u and ur pee
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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